Homeless Encounter of the day

So here is my indirect homless encounter of the day. One of the guys I live with, Mack, as seen below,

 
was walking back from the gym when I ran into him eating a Marcel's blizzard (kind of like a mcflurry) so obviously I had to take a bite. While enjoying the scrumptious blizzard a homeless man walked by us, nbd. I actually hardly realized he even walked past us because of how happy I was about this free ice cream bite. After this share fest I went on my way to the grocery store and Mack kept walking home. Little did I know that Mack and the homeless man would cross paths again. The homeless man stopped Mack and was like "ohh is that your girlfriend?!?!?!" obvi the response was no she's not, but the homeless man contunited to ask him if I was his girlfriend. After about 4 no's the man finally caught on and responds with "OHH SHE IS AVAILABLE!?!?!"  Mack of course just laughed and told him I was available, and looking. This man the homeless man VERY happy. What an ass. Now every time I walk anywhere I feel as if this man is going to try to wed me. No thanks, homeless men are not my type, although I do seem to be theirs, why?

Cheetahs round 2!!

So obviously when someone comes to visit Africa, aka MIKEL ASHKIN, such a betch, you must see African animals aka cheetahs! Soo I believe this was Monday, Mikel, Matt, his friend from home, and I all ventured out to Spier via the train obvi, so not sketch. This was only after I gave my condom presentation, check plus in that category. We thought we had gotten on the wrong train for about 45 minutes when all of a sudden we ended up at Lynedoch! Amazing how that happens sometimes! So we first ate lunch at Moyo, suchhhh a good spot. Not cheap but it is a buffet all you can eat local african foods. SO good like wow, the best meal I have had here.  We stuffed our faces for a good hour and a half and then we set out to pet the cheetahs. We had to sanitize our entire bodies basically before we went into the area with the cheetahs, they have allergies I guess? So there was the "cheetah handler" which basically just talks to the cheetah all day so it doesn't attack people while they are petting it. I was wondering what he was actually saying to it though, does he speak cheetah? If so where did he learn that because I want lessons. Our guide of course was American, how rude. The four of us went into the area but we could only go two people at a time in case we disrupted the cheetah, yikes. Mikel and I went first and the cheetah was purring when we pet it. So strange, I felt like I was just petting a big cat but the catch is that I had to pay to pet this cat. Was it really worth the money... no. I have done much cooler things in life than pet big cats. I almost wish it had sprung up and attacked or something cool just to have a good story. We got home and immediately changed and went to the UCT rugby game, the last home game they had. It was a good game even though they got killed but I finally was able to understand what was going on! Just took me 2 months, totally fine.

Cool! Cheetah!! His name was Joseph, he was a pal.

 Yummyyy Moyo

 Just chillin with the tigerest tiger of all

Homeless Encounter of the day

Saturday was a great day to read a book, inside. Just minding my own business trying to act all intellectual with my book based upon the art of decision making when I hear a ring at the front gate. Hmm figure it's one of my lazy roommates who just doesn't want to open it, wrong. Some rather large black man was standing at the gate. Excellent. By this time he had already seen me and the cat was out of the bag. I went to the door and asked him who he was and whyyyy was he standing at our gate, his response was that his name was arnold and he lived in the house in back of us... not believe it. He was trying to tell me that the tree from his yard was growing into ours and he needed to cut it. What? I told him to just cut it and I really don't care how short you cut it. Mind you I am in the house yelling at him through a gate and he is at the other gate that is well over 100 feet away from the front door. So we go back anf fourth for a while me being all like ummmmm yeah no you're not coming in to show me this tree and him all being like I need to set up my step ladder in your yard. Finally he asks me for my landlords number. Of course I don't have it so I write down some other guys number and walk out to give it to him. Now we are face to face with a gate inbetween us, horrible idea. He then takes it to the next level and tells me that I do not trust him because of the color of his skin and BLAH BLAH BLAH. Needless to say I set him straight on that situation and before I knew it he was trying to hug me through the gate... THROUGH THE GATE! He is out of his mind?! I told him if he was real that he needed to come back with the landlord and it would be a different story, he asked me for my name and I told him I didn't know, my parents never gave me one and went back inside. Successful day of stopping robbers.

Ajax vs. Pirates

Wednesday night Mikel, Mack, and I all went to our first soccer game!! WEE. Well I guess it was definitely Mikel's first seeing she had only been here for 4 days haha. Anyways, we skipped Alan's class, best idea ever. We had a crazy cab driver on the way there that was telling us about these 4 guys he drove to the world cup game who were plastered. All I could really understand was the fact that the guy sitting in the front seat was the most drunk and he just kept yelling YOU F****** N****!!!! Over and over and over again. After the cab driver would tell this part of the story he would just BURST out laughing, thought it was SOOO funny. Awkward. SO we got to the game and there were 3 levels of tickets you could buy, 40R, 60R, and 80R. We decided to go for the 60R. We get to the stadium and get to our gate and realize that we had a whole section of seats we could pick from, including front row seats behind the bench on midfield line. Win? Where were the 80R seats? In my eyes these were the best seats you could get. We snagged the seats and got ourselves a hot dog. After about 15 minutes the stadium was PACKED. Everyone was a pirates fan and we of course were Ajax fans. We were also the ONLY white people in our section. Typical. Anyways it was a great game and the fans were SO wild. One guy ran out onto the field and was soon tackled by security and taken away, once again typical. Such a fun time and then we got Nandos after. Best day ever, yum. For anyone who doesn't know what Nandos is, it's a DELISH chicken place that has the best sauces ever. Not like KFC don't be mistaken, it's all grilled.




 
 Literally that close.

Yeah Ajax!

Homeless Encounter of the day

So today I was walking home from class and this man with a backpack crosses the street so now he is walking in front of me. Of course I found this to be normal, stupid. We walk for a little him in front of me and this all of a sudden he turns around and is starring at me while still walking forward. He turns back around, yessss thinking I was in the clear. Obviously not. He turns back around and starts yelling "HEY! HI! HEY! HI! HI! HI! I know you see me! HEY! MAMMIII!! Mammiiiii". This goes on for a good 30 seconds while we are both still walking, neither of us stop. I make no acknowledgment to the fact that he is saying hi to be and calling me mammi. He turns back around when he realizes he isn't getting anything from me. Still not done he turns back around and says hi one more time thinking maybeee i'll have a chance this time. Nope sorry buddy. I decide to cross the street so he has no reason to turn around again.

Guguletu

2 weekends ago everyone in my program, including me went on a homestay in the township Guguletu. It was a an overnight, Saturday- Sunday and we were all paired up in were staying with a family somewhere in the township. We started out at momma Noxi's house which was REALLY nice, definitely didn't feel like we were in a township. There was a living room, dining room, huge kitchen with an island, two bathrooms, and three bedrooms. Oh and all the bathrooms had marble floors? A little different than the shacks that you usually see in a township. We were all pretty confused when we got there because our program leader told us that we had a reflection paper on our experience in the township. What we were supposed to write, "I experienced beautiful marble floors, nicer than the house I actually live in?" right. So anyways we had a FEAST when we got there. SO much food I literally couldn't move afterward. After the feast part of the group got to go on a tour of the township and half of us didn't. I of course was in the group that didn't. Instead we got to sit in momma Noxi's living room on her nice couches for 4 hours. Once again wtf are we supposed to be reflecting on? Once the group got back we snacked a little more and then waited for our "momma's" to come pick us up. As more and more people were getting picked up by their momma's Kyle and I were still at Noxi's watching everyone get taken away. So basically after everyone was gone except for the people staying at Noxi's we were convinced that our momma didn't like us and totally ditched us, then out of no where momma came barreling through the living room. Success. Off to momma's we went. Momma didn't have a car so some random guys drove us to her house. Sketchy? Definitely not? As we were driving deeper and deeper into the township the more sketchy it became. All of a sudden we turned down a street and it was all shacks. No way. We just kept thinking no way are their people staying in marble floors and we are about to get a shack. So after a 8 minute car ride full of clicking and laughing we arrived at momma's house, the only actual house on the street. Of course. Kyle and I would get put into the ghetto of the township. So we walk into the house and it's a small living room a stove and 2 bedrooms. No bathroom. No sink. Running water? Maybe?

Here's the hallway that leads to the bedrooms.

So Kyle and I put our stuff down in our assigned bedroom and went back into the living room where there were 5 other ladies. We did small talk while mowing down 2 bags of chips and 3 bags of cookies, nbd. Oh and watched tv for the first time in 2 months. The news. After a couple hours of this and about 6 different people just walking in and out of the house we decided we should probably go to bed. We got into our pjs and then the bucket was delivered, AKA our bathroom. We weren't really sure where we could brush our teeth or anything, definitely weren't using the bucket so we asked momma's daughter what we should do. She seemed kind of confused about this whole teeth brushing thing but she finally figured it out and she brought us out to this spicket outside. Kyle and I brushed our teeth as fast as we could while the daughter, Kelly, literally blocked us from the road so no one could see us. Obviously this was not a safe area. She kept stepping to the right and the left depending on where people were walking. Sketchy. This was definitely the first time we really realized how bad of an area we were in. So back in the bedroom/bathroom and took a before bed peepee in the bucket. I guess it is kind of convient having a toilet right at the end of your bed? And surprisingly the bucket was a great shape for a confomtrable squatting position!

We were woken up the next morning to go to church, the random guy, once again, picked us up and we headed off to church. VIP parking in the pastors driveway and then all of a sudden the trunk of the car flew open and 6 children piled out. Ummmm what? I had no idea there were even kids in the car and  I was sitting in the backseat! TIA. Church was a bunch of singing and dancing cool. Then the pastors daughter brought us to Mizoli's after but then had to leave so momma's friend found us a taxi and we feasted at momma's on mizoli's and the other stuff momm'a sister prepared for us. We hadn't seen momma all morning and she still wasn't back at the house. Momma?? We stuffed our faces and watched some south African soap opera. So absurd. We caught a cab back to momma Noxi's place and by the time we got there everyone had left? Ummmm what? So somehow we had to flag the bus back to pick us up so we weren't left in this township for another night. Don't get me wrong the bucket was great but I think a one time bucket experience is enough.

Here's a pic of our Guguletu fam!
 
MOMMA!
  
Here's the view from the front porch. Got my hair did at Zelpha's.

 
This was the bathroom, not really sure which is better the bucket or this.

Homeless Encounter of the day

I have decided to start this daily thing where I will talk about my encounters with the homeless. I'll just jot and few down now that I have had so far, but trust me there are many more to come.

2 days ago:
On my walk home from the gym there was this guy, definitely homeless walking towards me and it seemed as if everything was going to go smooth and we would just pass eachother. Wrong. Just as both of us were int he middle of the cross walk I look up because it seems as if he has stopped walking. I decide to look up and I see him standing there with his arms wide open like he is about to come up and give me a huge hug. He starts walking towards me still with his arms wide open and begins yelling I LOVE YOU MARRY ME, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, PLEASE MARRY ME. This all happens in the middle of the road. right.

Today:
Once again on my walk home from the gym I see a homeless man approaching me so I decide to move my ipod to my other hand. I keep walking but all of a sudden he stops right in front of me and goes, ARE YOU A GIRL?!?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Hysterically laughing, I keep walking and he turns around and keeps hysterically laughing. um...

mind you when all of this is happening there are always other people walking on the sidewalks but it doesn't even seem to phase them.

THE ZONE

On Friday Sarah and I went to a step class at THE ZONE. Only the best smelling gym ever sans air con. We figured it would be a typical step class such as the ones in the US. Yeah. No. So we get there a little early and are waiting for the class to start and this older lady walks in, doesn’t look like she is in that great of shape wearing a big tee-shirt, long shorts that had some silver pattern on the side, long spandex, high socks, and sneakers. Not to mention that many of her teeth were gold teeth. We soon realized that this was actually the teacher of the class. Oh my word. So the classes started well, seemed pretty normal, until we got about 25 minutes in and we hadn’t stopped stepping at all. Everyone was dripping sweat and dying. At this point, some people had left. We kept going strong. 30 minutes went by and this lady still hadn’t stopped.  I have no idea how because she didn’t look to be in that good of shape. Finally, after 45 minutes, the music stopped and the stepping was over. Gross. She’s crazy. Then she had us to abs in which we had a partner and we did 3 different types of sit-ups and then left. Weird? I am not sure what the point of that was. Friday night consisted of doing my first paper at UCT. The topic was to reflect on the authors we had discussed in my Religion and Society class and how they changed your perception of religion. We had read works form Weber, Marx, Durkheim, etc. I hate religion. I don’t have any perception on it and these authors did nothing to change that. Aka my paper was horrible and the teacher will probably burn it once he is done reading it. Once again, another successful day in Africa.

up or down?

I don’t understand how everyone in South Africa is so skinny. EVERYTHING has either mayo or butter on it. If I were to eat as much nasty mayo that they do I would be 300 lbs. I want to conduct a study on how the hell they are all not fat/ also to figure out how I can eat mayo like they do and become skinnier. I’ll let you know how the study goes.

But on a lighter note, last week was boring I think. Don’t really remember what I did. The condom presentation is coming along nicely. Check plus. I got my first assignment back the grade on it was a 79. Immediately I wondered how could I have gotten a 79 on a response paper? Then I realized oh wait I am in Africa. Their grading system is so weird here. Supposedly it only goes up to 75 but then everything after that is an A? They also said it is impossible to get a 100 on something here. So why do they even have grades that are higher than a 75 if a 75 is an A and that is the highest grade you can get? T.I.A. I guess is the only answer.

            I have learned how to cook my own meals. Success. And in my opinion it has all been pretty good. Maybe one day I’ll have my own cooking show… probably not/ why would I want that?

I had my first tutorial for my Intro to soc. Class and the teacher never showed up. So for the 2^nd week in a row I sat in the classroom with the other students and nothing happened. Weird though, I sat with these 3 girls who are all first years and we were exchanging names, the first girls’ name was Nicole, finally a name I can pronounce, then it moved to the girl who was sitting next to me and her name was Lauren. Funny we had the same name and I hadn’t met another Lauren since being here. So then we all laughed when I introduced myself as Lauren. Then we moved onto the last girl and she was like well… my name is also Lauren. At this point, I thought this was a joke, but no she was serious. All 3 of us had the same name and just happened to all sit next to each other. The two of them were also saying how they only knew like 1 or 2 other Laurens in their whole lives. WEIRD. I hate the name Lauren

            We went to Marcel’s 4 times last week, maybe even 5. I think it is an addiction. I don’t know what I am going to do when I go back to the states. It has gotten sad that I go so often that I know the days they change the soft serve flavours and which combinations they have. I have come to accept it.

            On Tuesday, it was my roommate Matt’s 21^st birthday so it called for a celebration. We had our first official Braai (BBQ) at our house and invited everyone on our program. We all cooked delicious meats on our new cool grill, drank wine, and were merry. Yay. We then went to Tiger Tiger, which is the main club in a town that is about two over from our dodgy location. Great times. I had class at 9 so I was not trying to stay out late. When we went to leave, it didn’t go as planned and people who said they wanted to leave didn’t so as I’m going down the escalator I realized that no one was following me. At this moment it seemed like the only way I was going to get back up the escalator was to walk up the down one. Right. Needless to say as I was about to be on the last step right and be back on still ground and have totally success of conquering going up the down when all of a sudden my shoe got stuck and I took a tumble onto the first step. Ouch. My knee is looking great from the picture you can see down below. After this occurred I was definitely trying to leave. Mission accomplished. Time for bed.

riiiiiiiiiiiight

T.I.A.

For all of you who haven't known what TIA stands for, it is THIS IS AFRICA. This is usually the only logical explanation for anything that happens here. The end.